Wars of the Future

Coming Soon to a City Near You!

In a previous post, I discussed how the algorithms hidden in our media are encouraging the polarization of society, gradually leading to a new civil war. This is sad, but every challenge brings new opportunity. Wars are an essential part of the human experience because they often provide an opportunity to replace incompetent leadership with more efficient systems and people. That’s why it’s very important to be able to understand the trajectory of a war, whether it’s a war that’s currently happening or a war that’s scheduled to happen in the foreseeable future. As the great general Sun Tzu once said “You should never fight a war unless you already know the outcome.” So let’s talk about this civil war in more detail. How would it shake out? Who would win and why?

On Reddit, I often see similar discussions, but about superheroes rather than political factions. “Would Green Lantern win a fight against the Flash?” asks the Redditor ChonkerFoid88, and the flurry of replies goes into ridiculous detail and depth about how such an encounter would play out. “Green Lantern can create anything, he could just create a spaceship and blow the Flash to pieces from orbit!” replies TheGr3@tUpmarsey, while D0wnD00ter99 replies “Nuh unh, because the Flash could immediately run to Home Depot and get some yellow paint before the fight even started!” While we all recognize such online discussions as the soybrained nonsense that they are, I unironically think that this type of analysis is the best way to discuss the outcomes of a civil war. After all, the reason human beings evolved empathy is to be able to put ourselves into somebody else’s shoes, so that we can better predict their behavior. So when you are trying to predict what the other side will do, it’s always best to assume that they will use the smartest and most optimal tactics possible and ask yourself “What would I do in their situation?”

So let’s begin with me putting myself in the shoes of the Republicans, those scrappy underdogs. Suppose there was a civil war and I was the general leading the conservatives in an uprising against the existing status quo. All bets are off, the shit has hit the fan, and the only rule is winning at any cost. What would I do to lead my team to victory?