Divorce

You Can't Make a Ho Into a Housewife

I know that this blog is normally about memetics and psychology, but I’d like to take a break from that today to talk about the worst human being I know - my wife Kathryn. How this relates to psychology will become clear over the course of the post.

When we first met, I remember being entranced by her. She was such an interesting conversationalist. We had made plans to meet at a bowling alley and go bowling, but instead we ended up talking all night. The evening finished up at her house. For the next date she cooked my favorite meal for me. Nobody had ever treated me so nicely. I was smitten. I never stopped to question whether this love-bombing might have anything to do with my family being wealthy, and hers being poor.

It wasn’t until a few years later that Kathryn mentioned casually, in one of those joking ways, that she wished she had been a naked camgirl when she was younger, since she had been extremely attractive back then and wished that she could at least have monetized it. I’ve always been sex-positive, so I laughed and said that sounded fun, and that we all have our regrets. What I didn’t realize was that Kathryn was testing my boundaries at the time, trying to figure out what I would or would not be OK with.

Some time passed and our relationship deepened. In my spare time, I started working on a video game with some people I met on Reddit. This meant I had to work late on Fridays, while Kathryn went out clubbing with her female friends. I didn’t think much of it - after all, I’m a secure guy. If somebody wants to cheat on you, they’ll find a way - so I either trust my partner or I break up with them. It wasn’t until one night when her friend Tori caught us making out in the car as I dropped her off at the club that I got my second glimmer of suspicion. Kathryn told me later that Tori had said “I didn’t realize you guys had that kind of relationship.” What kind of relationship? What is so unusual about making out with your girlfriend? It should have occurred to me that this was another instance of Kathryn testing the water. She wanted to see if I would be OK with an open relationship, but didn’t want to say it directly. For all I know, Kathryn was cheating on me at the club. But I’ve always been a bit aspie, and narcissists like to exploit people like me. At the time, I didn’t really think much of it.

More time passed. I bought us a condo and we got married, and then Covid struck. We started to take up hiking a lot more. It was on one of those hikes that Kathryn mentioned that she would be OK if I ever cheated on her, as long as I didn’t bond with the other person emotionally. It seemed like an odd thing to bring up, since I had never even mentioned the thought of cheating on her. Kathryn also started to behave very differently around me, as if she was putting on a performance for some hidden camera. The change in her behavior was remarkable and striking. Whenever I said anything that might make her look bad to others, she got upset and threw a fit, even though we were alone and nobody was there to judge her. I gradually started to get suspicious. Kathryn’s unusual behavior always seemed to happen when we were in front of a phone, TV, or some other electronic device. Was Kathryn secretly recording me? My suspicions were aroused even more when people we knew started to imitate some of the things I did in private. For example, I liked to whip my belt around the bedroom in private sometimes, since I used to be in the BDSM community and I wanted to practice my aim recreationally. Later on when I met Kathryn’s family who were visiting from Kansas, they started to do the same thing, laughing to each other. I was definitely getting the sensation that I was being watched. As I went on a hike with Kathryn and her nephew, she mentioned to him that we had an “unconventional relationship.” Did we? I didn’t see anything unconventional about it. I might have been into BDSM in the past, but if anything, our sex life was rather boring and needed some work. It occurred to me that maybe Kathryn was representing our relationship very differently to other people than she was to me. Between that and the strange way she behaved whenever she was in front of an electronic device, I almost got the impression that she was recording me as if we were on TV, and then editing the footage to make me look stupid and evil. For example, at one point she mentioned hoping that we got a “second season.” A second season? It was a really odd way to phrase something like that, and I asked for a clarification. “A second season to our relationship,” Kathryn hastily amended. I nodded, but I was still suspicious. The coincidences were starting to add up.

Meanwhile, the news articles I watched started to change as well. Articles were referencing things I had said in private. At first I thought that maybe it was my algorithm reflecting my preferences as my phone eavesdropped on me, but I adjusted the settings so that my phone was no longer passively listening and the same thing kept happening. Was somebody spying on me? Was I in some sort of reality show against my will? I decided to test this out.

As you may know from my earlier articles, I’ve always had an interest in memetics - the study of how ideas spread. I used this principle both to influence the 2016 election and to later on establish the Q-anon religion online. If I were being spied upon illegally, then I could easily test that hypothesis by creating a meme in private and seeing if it spread. I said out loud, in front of my television set “If you believe in my cause, wear monochromatic colors with a splash of red. If you think I’m sexy, add a little blue and purple to it.” I did this in front of the TV because I had always noticed that Kathryn behaved very differently in front of our TV. If my wife was illegally recording me, then the TV was almost surely what she was using to do it.

And the meme spread. I didn’t know how, but somebody was definitely watching me. I started to become very paranoid. Even when I masturbated, I would cover anything electronic to ensure that I was not being spied upon. Over time, I became a paranoid wreck.

At first, I thought it was the government spying on me and trying to frame me for something illegal in response to my Q-anon activities. Kathryn fed this delusion, starting conversations with me frequently about pedophilia and sex abuse. I knew that one common tactic the government likes to use to get rid of people who disrupt their narrative (like Julian Assange) is fake allegations of sex abuse, since people tend to be very emotional and react to the seriousness of the allegations rather than the likelihood that the allegations are true. It became increasingly clear to me that somebody was trying to set me up for something, possibly with my wife’s willing collaboration.

I decided to retaliate. I’ve always been an extremely aggressive person, and if my rights were being violated, I had a perfect justification to strike back. If I were being recorded in the privacy of my own home against my will, then I was effectively a slave and any actions I took to free myself were justified. I decided to spread a few memes that would effectively destroy society, using the principle of the infohazard. The more people were watching me, the more effective my infohazards would be at causing mass destruction, because infohazards work more efficiently when more people are watching you. I also delegated power of attorney over my IP to Taylor Swift, since getting a celebrity of that magnitude involved would cause the infohazards to spread farther and become much more potent and dangerous. Destroying society just because my privacy rights were violated might seem a little hostile, but I’m a firm believer in personal boundaries, as well as punishing people for overstepping your boundaries. If one person violates your human rights, it’s OK to harm them. If ten people violate your human rights, it’s OK to harm all of them. If an entire society violates your human rights, it’s OK to exterminate that entire society - provided you are smart enough to do so, of course. Your human rights are non-negotiable, and anybody who violates them should be made into a horrific example so that others can learn from their mistakes.

“If I had an emotional affair - but it wasn’t physical - would you be upset?” Kathryn said to me one day. “No,” I told her honestly. But at this point, my suspicions were extremely high. When Kathryn suggested I get the Covid vax early - even though I didn’t qualify since I had no immune disorders - I pointed this out to her. “How can I be eligible for the vax even though I have no immune disorders? You have to be elderly or in an at-risk group in order to qualify.” “Your immunotherapy counts as an immune disorder,” Kathryn said. That seemed like a lot of bullshit to me, considering that my immunotherapy is to treat chronic pollen allergies. I looked on my google calendar and noticed that my calendar appointments for “immunotherapy” had been replaced by “immunology.” The only person who had access to my calendar was Kathryn. When she mentioned talking to a former friend of hers who was in some sort of sex cult with people who were HIV-positive, all my instincts for danger went on high alert. Was my wife HIV-positive? Was she deliberately trying to infect me with a dangerous disease while recording me so that people on the internet could laugh at my exploitation? Everything started to make sense, including her insistence on having sex without a condom (a demand that I never gave in to, thankfully). I looked through my wife’s phone and saw a sexual message to one of her former roommates, Akin. My wife had told me that Akin lived in California and so I didn’t need to feel threatened by her frequent conversations with him, but how did I know that? How could I trust anything that my wife told me? For all I knew, Akin might live right around the corner.

To make a long story short, I demanded a divorce. It was clear to me that in the best-case scenario, my wife intended to cheat on me (if she had not done so already). In the worst-case scenario, my wife was deliberately trying to infect me with a deadly disease without my knowledge. And I already knew that somebody was recording me, and my wife was trying to gaslight me about it. I had been coasting in this relationship for far too long, letting the red flags and danger signs add up. It was clearly bad for me, and I needed to move on. I demanded a divorce, and then went out and got tested for STDs. My tests came back negative. I was safe.

My divorce is tomorrow - January 24th. I have spent seven years living with a psychopath who tried to exploit me - and near the end of the relationship possibly tried to use a sexual disease to murder me in order to cover her tracks. I am so happy to finally be out of this situation. Recently I have started to see more evidence online that my wife was cheating on me, and possibly even prostituting herself without my knowledge. For example, here is a post somebody put on rdrama (a trolling website) of some whore they met on the internet. The face seems to have been altered and tattoos have been digitally added, but the body clearly belongs to my wife, and I recognize the closet in the background as being identical to the one in my condo. Another picture of that same person I saw on rdrama has a patterned blanket in the background that I recognize as identical to one that belongs to my ex- wife.

Obviously, I’m not going to go hunting through sketchy prostitution websites to verify whether or not my ex-wife is a hooker. The fact that I don’t trust her is more than enough justification to get the divorce. And I support the rights of sex-workers, so I don’t feel like whore-shaming - if my ex-wife wants to degrade herself and get an STD, that’s entirely her prerogative. Now that I’m out of the relationship, my wife is free to whore around and pick up all the sexually transmitted diseases that she wants. My problem is that she tried to spread her problems to me by lying and gaslighting me while violating my privacy, and that’s the kind of thing that only a narcissistic sociopath would do. And I also know somebody was recording me without my permission, because otherwise my memes (both destructive and otherwise) wouldn’t have spread so successfully. Personally, I’m just happy that I managed to get out of that situation with my health and sanity intact. However, now that I’m aware that there’s probably video recordings of me floating around the internet - edited to make me look dumb and evil, of course - I would appreciate if anybody who happens to find those videos could bring them to my attention and send me a link so that I can take the appropriate legal action against whomever is responsible. Be on the lookout for videos of a man and a woman talking (I’m a bald white man with a black and white beard), but the man seems to be unaware of the videocamera (which is probably concealed in a TV or a phone). Thanks in advance for your help. In the meanwhile, I’m looking forwards to getting divorced and then having a stiff drink to celebrate getting out of this horrific trainwreck of a marriage with both my health and my sanity fully intact. It’s embarrassing to go public with this, but I’m hoping that by doing so, I can raise awareness of how abusive relationships are not just a problem that impacts women. Men can frequently be trapped in abusive situations as well, and our society’s unfair laws currently treat women exclusively as innocent victims of abuse when they are just as frequently the evil perpetrators.